My first thought about a blog was that it would give me a way to share something that is having a major impact on me. I will let people know about these pages and figure that friends and the sincerely interested will take the time to find their way here.
In a few words, I am ill. It sounds strange to say as I haven't been seriously ill for thirty-five years. As you can tell, I haven't found a good way to tell people I have cancer. It came as a heck of shock to me. No one in my family has ever had it. How could I?
At first it seemed as though I drew the long straw... Prostate Cancer, may be the best cancer one could have... no big deal, right? Monitor it, watch and see, get tested regularly... most men will die of heart disease or old age before PC wreaks havoc.
Unfortunately, that's not the stage making it's home in me. My body is housing an aggressive and advanced form of the disease. Stage 4.
Diagnosed in October 2013, Prostate removed February 2014, Gleeson score 4+5=9, cancer had spread to a neighboring lymph node and seminal vesicle, PSA score dropped as expected following surgery only to start creeping up. Hopes of battling the remnant with well-coordinated natural healing were dashed after a couple of months. The PSA trended up.
This PC is aggressive. My urologist/oncologist had one option to hold out as a source of hope... an aggressive treatment plan... Hormone Suppression Therapy. Injections of Lupron effectively removing the testosterone from your body, every six months for two years, starting July 2014. PC thrives on testosterone.
Most of the time I feel very good and people tell me I do not look sick. I practice hours a day and am thrilled with how I am playing. Music is a huge part of my healing.
I have had three shots and the good news is my body is responding well to treatment. My PSA at last count was 0.02... very good news! Many of the side-effects have made themselves known, too. I describe them as "unpleasant" an understatement somedays. My doctor is pleased with the results and how I am handling it. He will push for another two years of shots before taking me off them and seeing how my body does on its own.
The word is I will do OK for awhile without the shots and then the PSA will start to go up again and I will need to get back into treatment. If this cycle goes on for long, the cancer will become resistant to the Lupron and it will be time to look for something new.
All of this has changed me. I'm not the person I was a couple of years ago. Living with an advanced stage of cancer, has taken me to a deeper appreciation for the gift of each day, each friendship, each opportunity to create, each moment with my grandchild, every whisper from God, every invitation to soar and be happy, living a life that is messy and well-lived. All of this will be the substance of this blog
Fr. Norm, I look forward to reading your blog and your thoughts. God be with you!
ReplyDeletePraying with you Norm. May God Bless and keep you.
ReplyDeleteYou sound clear & accepting & much in tune with the whole process. Great place to be as it has both strength of purpose and resolve to do your part and let the chips fall as they may.
ReplyDeleteDay at a time. Good for you & us both to share this journey. Enriches and informs and that is very positive.
Lots & lots of love from Paris.
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ReplyDeleteDearest Norm,
ReplyDeleteYou have seen what others only imagine, travelled to the edges of dreams and come back to weave this truth into your life's breath & your service to mankind. Your music casts a spell, peels the stiffened cataract from this carnival of enduring transformation, we call life.
You have touched the naked truth, been to the well and carried the water so that we could drink from the cup that spills on the ground watering the seeds you cast along your path. Everyone an invitation.
You set sail amid stormy seas, swept past the riptide hungry for your soul, past thunderous waves that keep others shackled, hungry and afraid. Your actions, your song has carried these seeds to distant lands, left them on neighbors doorsteps, beneath pillows, invitations all to see our garden and plant what needs growing. You reminded us to tend the shoots, to nourish them daily with our attention and gifted us patience, to harvest in good time.
You have sung to us and gotten us engaged and reconnected with our truth, our fruits and fragrance. Your music reminds us our place, our timing as we paddle through the swift currents. The riptide, hungry for our soul, won't catch us, as we dance to the rhythms you play for us.
You are doing what you are here to do and we are delighted and better because you are! Much lovewill not get us as we dance to your rhythmic
The riptide that wants to claim my soul can wait as your rhythms give me the beat to dance through these stormy seas. You have 'it'! Like the Pope, the first holy man who knows how to sing of justice, who knows where the power comes from, where the light is meant to lead us.
You too have the gift, the juice, the elements that harden steel and my resolve. You were born on fire and your life is an invitation to others to claim theirs. Keep up with the music and share your gifts for you are like the giving tree, fertilizing the road for believers and the questioning.
Keep sharing your music we are all better for what you do and who you are! With love, compassion & respect!!
Wasn't the Pope wonderful. I love that I could feel his faith as I could feel yours.
ReplyDeleteMy friend who hasn't been to Mass in 5 years, felt the call and attended this morning.
What one person with faith can accomplish. joyce
Norm, you have always been an inspiration to me since we first met and played music. I am thrilled you are still playing and performing, sharing your gifts. "We shall overcome" could be your mantra in many areas of life, and I support your continuing to live your life to the fullest. I am grateful to call you friend!
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